Last week was probably the hardest week for me since diagnosis. Eliza started showing signs of a mild cold on Friday. On Saturday her blood glucose levels started to go up. We have been very lucky that since December we have dealt with very few high numbers. This is because Eliza was/is in what is considered a honeymoon period. Unfortunately this honeymoon does not involve too many margaritas and me passing out on a lounge chair at a resort in Mexico. This honeymoon period sometimes follows the diagnosis of Type 1. It is a time when the beta cells in the Pancreas that have not been destroyed still kick out insulin. Not everyone experiences a honeymoon and it often varies in length. During this time you generally experience more lows than highs due to the unpredictable amount of insulin being kicked out by the pancreas. Sounds fun, right? Anyhow, I wasn’t sure if the high numbers were from the honeymoon ending, the sickness, a growth spurt, or just Diabetes being unpredictable. So, we waited to see if the numbers would start to come down. Unfortunately, they did not come down and we continued to see high numbers over the entire week. We changed her ratios twice and by Friday of last week we started seeing some better numbers.
It is hard not to tie your emotions to the number you see on the meter. It is even harder knowing that when your child is experiencing high blood sugar it is causing long term damage to her body. While low blood sugar is scary now, high blood sugars are what hurt in the long run. While Eliza seemed to be feeling fine, I was feeling guilty that I couldn’t get her numbers in range even though I was doing everything right.
So it was a rough week for me. I spent a lot of time feeling frustrated, tired and sad about Diabetes, Thankfully, I have a lot of amazing support and am now feeling much better. I a not sure if the honeymoon is over or the near the end. We will continue to take it one reading at a time….